Bars, Clubs, Saloons, Pubs, Taverns and other Watering Holes in the Victor Valley - High Desert
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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!"
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Scroll down or click on City Name ( scroll to read our jokes ) joke archives
If your watering hole is not listed or is listed with incorrect information please notify us here
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A professor was asked to give a talk on "Sex". When his turn came, he stood, walked to the podium and adjusted the microphone just so. He said, " Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure"
And he sat back down
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- Town of APPLE VALLEY -
* = website
Art's Place
760- 240-9975
21860 Us Highway 18
Beach Bums Bar & Grill
760- 961-0741
21660 Bear Valley Rd Ste 5
760 247-7060
22581 Us Highway 18
Ponder This
"If mankind evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?"
Draper's Sports Bar & Grill
760- 242-7272
19123 US Hwy 18
Frogee's Cocktail Lounge
760- 247-6800
21820 Us Highway 18
Ringside Sports Bar
760-247-8999
21660 Bear Valley Rd
Ponder This
Marriage is a 3 ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring and Suffering
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- - City of HESPERIA - -
*= website Top
DJs Sports Bar & Grill
760-956-2000
12055 Mariposa Rd
Dog House Saloon (Behind Auto Zone)
760-244-4846
17099 Main St
Ponder This
"Love is Blind" If this is true, why is lingerie so popular?
760- 947-0002
11352 Hesperia Rd
Gator's
760- 948-7595
15918 Walnut St
Hesperia Golf and Country Club
760-244-9301
17970 Bangor Ave
Ponder This
If peanut butter cookies are made with peanut butter, what are Girl Scout cookies made with ?
Joshua Inn
760-244-6540
6224 Arrowhead Lake Rd
Rocks Club (Rocksbury Sports Bar)
760- 244-0779
17122 Main St
760- 949-9178
9297 G Ave.
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- - City of Victorville - -
*website Top
Coconut Sports Bar
760- 955-1600
12152 Cottonwood Ave
Ponder This
Signs that you are too drunk would be:
..You lose arguments with inanimate objects
..Job interfering with your drinking
to be continued...
Halo Restaurant & Night Club
(760) 245-5025
14269 Seventh St
Jocko's Pub & Grill
760- 955-6711
13622 Bear Valley Rd
Johnny Fingers Sports Bar & Grill
760- 241-0804
15863 Lorene Dr
Signs that you ...continued
..Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream
..Career won't progress beyond Senator of Massachusetts
to be continued...
Little Coyote
760-951-2717
13725 Palmdale Rd
Marina Lounge
760-243-3666
13295 Spring Valley Pkwy
Mickey McGees
760-243-4263
13728 Hesperia Rd
Mr V's Sports Bar & Grill
760-955-7860
12249 Hesperia Rd
Signs that you ...continued
..The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat
..24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case -coincidence?- I think not!
to be continued...
Phantom Room
(760) 245-8125
14513 Seventh St
Ricky's
760-951-5400
13728 Hesperia Rd
Rustic Tavern
760-243-7435
14519 Hesperia Rd
Signs that you ...continued
..Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw
dinner!
..Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you
to be continued...
Steel Horse Saloon
760-245-6584
14513 7th St
The Little Shack
760-241-7747
13070 Palmdale Rd
Signs that you ...continued
..Your idea of cutting back is less salt
..Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
..Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S
a drinking problem!
end
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- - City of PHELAN - -
*website Top
Big Rock Inn (Pinion Hills)
760- 868-6615
1828 Hwy 138
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
Andy Rooney
Nilsen's Restaurant & Lounge
760- 868-5266
4274 Phelan Rd
The T- Bird
760- 868-3272
4120 Phelan Rd
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- - MORE - -
*website Top
Y- Saloon (Lucerne Valley)
760-248-7578
32743 State Highway 18
Ponder This
When a man talks nasty to a woman it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks nasty to a man it's $7.99 per minute.
Woody's Sports Bar& Grill (Barstow)
760-253-3878
25597 Main St
Sunny's Too Tavern (Barstow)
760-255-1821
2461 W Main St
Two attorneys were walking out of a bar and a beautiful young lady walks by. One attorney turns to his associate and comments "Boy, I would like to screw her! The other attorney thinks for a second and said "Out of what"?
Dempsey's Pub (Silver Lakes)
760-243-6919
26816 Bluewater Rd,
Jet Room (Adelanto)
760-246-3414
17535 Adelanto Rd.
Murphy's Bar & Grill (Adelanto)
760-388-4505
1708 El Mirage Rd
Q&A
Why did God create Adam before he created Eve?
Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
Tavern On The Green (Silver Lakes)
760-245-7700
14818 Clubhouse Dr
The Iron Hog Saloon (Oro Grande)
760-843-8004
20848 National Trails Hwy
Route 66 Tavern (Oro Grande)
760-955-6546
19306 National Trails Hwy
Q&A
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
Why are you shaking, she's going to eat me.
What's the difference between a man and ET?
ET phoned home.
Club 66 (Oro Grande)
760- 955-2740
19306 National Trails Hwy
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Marriage Quotes By Men
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
This bartender, is at work in the bar, when this really hot chick walks up and says in a sexy seductive voice, "May I please speak to your manager?" He says, "Not right now, is there anything I can help you with?" She replies, "I don't know if your the man to talk to...its kind of personal..." Thinking he might get lucky, he says, "I'm pretty sure I can handle your problem, missy." She then looks at him with a sexy smile, and puts two of her fingers into his mouth...and he begins sucking them, thinking "Oh I'm in!!!" She says, "Can you give the manager a message for me?" The bartender nods...yes.
"Tell him there's no toilet paper in the ladies restroom!"
Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of a bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls. They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!"
The other one looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first".
YOUR LISTING INCCORECT ?
The supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts. I intended to stock up. At the store, however, I was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so I complained to the butcher lady.
"Don't worry," she said, "I'll pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping."
Several aisles later, I heard the lady butcher's voice boom over the public-address system: "Will the gentleman who wanted bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store."
A blind man was traveling in his private jet when he detected something was wrong. He made his way to the cockpit and got no response from his pilot. The blind guy then found the radio and started calling the tower. "Help! Help!"
The tower came back and asked, "What's the problem?"
The blind guy yelled, "Help me! I'm blind... the pilot is dead, and we're flying upside down!"
The tower comes back and asked, "How do you know you're upside down?"
"Because the shit is running down my back!".
One day, there was this lawyer who had just bought a new car, and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues, when all of a sudden an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took off the driver's side door with him standing right there.
"NOOO!" he screamed, because he knew that no matter how good a mechanic tried to fix it, it never would be the same. Finally, a cop came by, and the lawyer ran up to him yelling. "MY JAGUAR DOOR WAS JUST RUINED BY SOME FOOLISH DRIVER!!!" he exclaimed.
"Your a lawyer aren't you?" asked the policeman. "Yes, I am, how did you know and what does this have to do with my car?!?!" the lawyer asked.
"HA! Your lawyers are always so materialistic. All you care about is your possessions. I bet you didn't even notice that your left arm is missing did you?" the cop said.
The lawyer looked down at his side and exclaimed "MY ROLEX!"
A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can. He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in this beer, do not drink!". After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!"
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A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she wasn't sure it was such a good idea.
The Doctor asked, "Do you enjoy it?"
She said that she did.
He asked, "Does it hurt you?"
She said "no."
The Doctor then told her, "Well, then, there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant."
The woman was mystified. She asked, "You can get pregnant from anal sex?"
The Doctor replied, "Of course. Where do you think lawyers come from?"
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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.
“Mother, where do babies come from?”
The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.”
The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend.
“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”
“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”
Wendy's Place Hesperia
Looking for really good coffee, KONA!! No bull this is great coffee.
